chevysrfoxy
02-15-2007, 04:04 PM
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
Insist that your e-mail address be: "zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com"
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
Come to work in your pajamas.
Put a picture of your mother on your business card.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.
Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at McDonald's Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.
Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
Plant a hedge around your cubicle.
Put on your headphones whenever the boss comes into the office. Talk in a loud voice. Remove your headphones when he or she leaves.
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair. Talk into your daytimer.
"Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
Hang mistletoe over your desk.
Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite right as special treats for your co-workers.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."
Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts, etc., in the lunchroom. When people complain that there was none ... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. Repeat.
Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many." Enforce.
At a meeting, as they announce each agenda item, say, "I think we should have one." Use it as a response for almost every question, too.
For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel. If no one notices, pitch the snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it IN.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
Keep strange insects in a jar on your desk in a conspicuous place.
Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
Insist that your e-mail address be: "zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com"
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
Come to work in your pajamas.
Put a picture of your mother on your business card.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.
Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at McDonald's Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.
Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
Plant a hedge around your cubicle.
Put on your headphones whenever the boss comes into the office. Talk in a loud voice. Remove your headphones when he or she leaves.
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair. Talk into your daytimer.
"Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
Hang mistletoe over your desk.
Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite right as special treats for your co-workers.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."
Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts, etc., in the lunchroom. When people complain that there was none ... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. Repeat.
Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many." Enforce.
At a meeting, as they announce each agenda item, say, "I think we should have one." Use it as a response for almost every question, too.
For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel. If no one notices, pitch the snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it IN.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
Keep strange insects in a jar on your desk in a conspicuous place.
Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.